Am I tired or not?

Ok, so sometime around the third or fourth infomercial you'd think I'd give up and just go to bed.

At this point I don't even care what the infomercial is about, although I am fairly certain I cannot live without rubber in a can. It's perfect for my gutters, or if I ever want to mount a screen door in the bottom of my boat. It's a good thing I can't locate my phone. They're selling two for $7.99!

So I switch over to a nature channel. I guess I'm a sucker for nature, or at least African nature. Plus the "Omigdeway" lion tribe (also the name of that tribe on "Survivor"... side note- is survivor even on any more?) quite fascinating. I'm a little broken-hearted that only two of their four cubs survived. I mean I'm really feeling pity.

Then comes the obvious wildebeest. Food for the might lion beasts. To bad they're heading north, not south to my favorite lion family. Oh no.

Of course the wildebeests run into the dreaded river. The river that is of course full of the dreaded crocodiles. At this point I'm convinced that the crocs are worse than any other creature alive. When I finally do fall asleep, I'm pretty convinced that my dream will be obsessed with croc teeth. I may even be swimming in vain away from one of those nasty creatures when my head hits the pillow.

Poor baby wildebeasts. They stand no chance.

Back to the Lions. They took down one of those ugly pigs. They might survive. Except wait... BOOM... a volcano just erupted, we're in big trouble now. I must now lead my lion family to safety, and we mustn't lose either of our two remaining cubs. We can survive, we can make it. If only we're were allowed to follow those silly wildebeasts. Blasted laws of nature.

I will continue.

I will survive.

Wow, this experience is surreal, I am basically a part of this show. What time is it?

Sure enough, the rains, the wildebeasts and the grass returns. We've survived!

It's 10:59 and time for me to go to bed.

Man I'm lame.

I blame having kids.