Several days of contemplation...

With Samantha gone, and the small three bedroom apartment that we live in occupied by only Aundrea and myself, I've had, and taken, many opportunities to reflect on life.

The first is I'm still trying to figure out how the dirty dishes disappear from the counter. I'm sure eventually I'll get home and they will somehow jump into the cupboard, clean like the day we bought them.

Ok, so don't get the wrong idea. I do house work... and the dishes aren't to bad. I've kept up on them. I've also managed to keep all the times/appts straight, minus church this morning. I've also managed to go to do it all while coming down with a nasty bought of something.

Truthfully, I've been sick so many times in Wyoming that I really was thinking that the only way I can get better is with Samantha's help. She gets my sick routine... which mainly involve my pillow, movies and Gatorade (lots of Gatorade).

Ah, I should also point out that Samantha is in Minnesota for a cousins wedding and her grandfather's upcoming surgery. It was also a chance for her to head home and not feel the confines of coming and going on a specific date. I expect her back at some point before this weekend. Ultimately, I'd like to see my son's before they forget who I am!

Anyways on to more important thoughts... Aundrea recently turned five. With her birthday being so close she has also started a few avenues in life that have really awoken me to life. Forever my children have been at home with Samantha. They're safe, and I know where they're at. Now my daughter is attending a preschool. It's not that I'm sad that my daughter is growing up it's simply the idea that our families dynamic is changing.

I can't say that I am excited about this new change. I'm very happy for my daughter, and pleased that she has adjusted very quickly to the changes of her life.

Their have been many changes both small and large that have caught me by surprise and quite simply left me a little unprepared as to how to approach raising my children. I liken this to a song I recently heard... Superman (Its not easy). I know it's probably not a new song, but when your radio only plays country it's easy to miss songs like this.

Although in no way do I consider myself superman, I am supposed to have, access and emulate strength and stability for my children. Right now I'm not really sure how all this ocured, but I do know that I'm struggling to accept the changes as a father.